Addicted to Food / Control

I have come to the conclusion that I am addicted to food!!! :0) who knew!!??!!

I have learned I eat just to have something to do, at times....it is not always about being hungry, but about having something to do or even just eating something because it is in the house. When I eat, it is not always because my body needs it but because I am using my ability to eat what I want /when I want as a way of having a weird sense of control over something. I eat what I want, when I want.... What is that all about??

So what to do now that I have admitted that I have a problem?? Here is my plan:

1. Devotion: Not only does this word mean that I am going to devote my time to determine why I eat when I eat, but I am renewing my devotion time with God. I started my day today with reading scripture and here is what I found...(I don't think God was originally talking specifically about being tempted with food....but it spoke to me, and it fits for me). James 1: 12 Blessed is the man who endures temptation.....vs 13 Let no one say when he is tempted, "I am tempted by God"; for God cannot be tempted by evil nor does He Himself tempt anyone. vs 14: But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. What did I learn: God does not tempt me with food, it is my desires that cause the temptations....I will grow and become a better person for resisting the temptations. It is my desire for control that leads me to eat when I am not hungry and to make unhealthy choices! WOW....

2. Journal: I am going to start journaling my eating. Not just about what I eat, but why I am eating it! I will also celebrate the times I choose to do something other than eat!! My hope is that I will learn to eat to live and not to live to eat!!

3. Continue: I will continue to share my story / journey in hopes that it will encourage / motivate / inspire others.  It is through journaling and sharing my story, that I have learned many things about myself and I hope that others have / can learn through my experiences. I want this journey to have a positive end result on me AND on others!!

4. Learn : I want to learn to not only make healthy choices, but to be able to eat things I enjoy, in limited amounts. I currently don't know how to make myself stop....when I am eating something "bad". I have not figured out how to eat one cookie or one serving of any kind of "treat". If I don't want to STOP eating then I don't.....because I want to be in control. Someone says I need to eat 1/4 cup then I am gonna eat 1/2 cup because I can...:0)  I know what I should / should not eat, but my desires outweigh my knowledge and the "control" factor takes over!! It is control in reverse...I don't have "self control" to limit what / how much I eat, but I take "control" and eat as much as I WANT to eat!!

I hope, if you have had challenges with being addicted to food or the control you feel by over eating...I hope that you will share your stories here!! It is my hope that we all can help each other learn, overcome, and grow through the journey!! I know this is not going to be an easy journey for me, but my hope is to learn, grow (mentally not physically, haha), and help others.