Addicted to Food / Control

I have come to the conclusion that I am addicted to food!!! :0) who knew!!??!!

I have learned I eat just to have something to do, at times....it is not always about being hungry, but about having something to do or even just eating something because it is in the house. When I eat, it is not always because my body needs it but because I am using my ability to eat what I want /when I want as a way of having a weird sense of control over something. I eat what I want, when I want.... What is that all about??

So what to do now that I have admitted that I have a problem?? Here is my plan:

1. Devotion: Not only does this word mean that I am going to devote my time to determine why I eat when I eat, but I am renewing my devotion time with God. I started my day today with reading scripture and here is what I found...(I don't think God was originally talking specifically about being tempted with food....but it spoke to me, and it fits for me). James 1: 12 Blessed is the man who endures temptation.....vs 13 Let no one say when he is tempted, "I am tempted by God"; for God cannot be tempted by evil nor does He Himself tempt anyone. vs 14: But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. What did I learn: God does not tempt me with food, it is my desires that cause the temptations....I will grow and become a better person for resisting the temptations. It is my desire for control that leads me to eat when I am not hungry and to make unhealthy choices! WOW....

2. Journal: I am going to start journaling my eating. Not just about what I eat, but why I am eating it! I will also celebrate the times I choose to do something other than eat!! My hope is that I will learn to eat to live and not to live to eat!!

3. Continue: I will continue to share my story / journey in hopes that it will encourage / motivate / inspire others.  It is through journaling and sharing my story, that I have learned many things about myself and I hope that others have / can learn through my experiences. I want this journey to have a positive end result on me AND on others!!

4. Learn : I want to learn to not only make healthy choices, but to be able to eat things I enjoy, in limited amounts. I currently don't know how to make myself stop....when I am eating something "bad". I have not figured out how to eat one cookie or one serving of any kind of "treat". If I don't want to STOP eating then I don't.....because I want to be in control. Someone says I need to eat 1/4 cup then I am gonna eat 1/2 cup because I can...:0)  I know what I should / should not eat, but my desires outweigh my knowledge and the "control" factor takes over!! It is control in reverse...I don't have "self control" to limit what / how much I eat, but I take "control" and eat as much as I WANT to eat!!

I hope, if you have had challenges with being addicted to food or the control you feel by over eating...I hope that you will share your stories here!! It is my hope that we all can help each other learn, overcome, and grow through the journey!! I know this is not going to be an easy journey for me, but my hope is to learn, grow (mentally not physically, haha), and help others.

Pushing through!! Philippians 4:13....

Just as in many parts of our lives, running and/ or exercise can come with challenges. It is those challenges, and how I handle them though, that help to make me stronger!! If I did not have challenges, how would I ever improve or grow....right? But man....the challenges are not fun!!

In my running experiences, I have so much trouble...no I HATE the first 3 miles of my run! If I could start out at mile 3.1 I would be a happy camper...but I know that it is those first 3 miles that gets my body ready for the next 3+ miles and that I must endure those first miles in order to be ready for what is to come. If I don't endure the first 3 miles then my heart, lungs, and legs will not be ready for the next miles. I guess it is that way with a lot of things  in life...it is the start of something that can be most difficult, then you settle in and are able to push through the rest.

I am not certain why I hate those first 3 miles, but I can tell you that it is during those miles that self doubt, leg cramps, foot pain, etc. are so strong that I just want to throw in the towel and quit. BUT, I don't...I push through, knowing that things will get better. Then, miraculously at mile 3.01 I get this surge of energy, everything stops hurting, and I LOVE running again! How familiar does this sound? There are many things in life that have felt the same way....but I pushed through and am better for having done it. If I did not have to push myself through those tough 3 miles, then running would be easy and how would I ever grow from it? Sounds a little bit like "real life" huh....if we don't experience challenges and if everything were easy peasy....how would we ever make improvements on who we are??

P.S. How do I push through? Quoting scripture, (especially Phil. 4:13 and Isaiah 40:31), taking my headphones out and listening to the beautiful sounds God has given us in nature, challenging myself to make it a little further, to the next lamp post, curve, sign, etc.....

Counting Blessings

Count your blessings name them one by one......

I was going to post something completely different this week, and I actually wrote what I was going to post about 2 weeks ago, but just did not feel it was time to post it yet. Not certain why…but am certain that it is a God thing :0)

We all experience set backs or have things take place in our lives that we just don’t understand. We also are all human and have human responses, so questioning and anger are natural and acceptable responses. It is what you do with that anger and questioning that really matters! Do you go in a shell and hide, do you over eat, do you stop working out altogether, or do you do what you can to help yourself out? I encourage you to do what I do when I need a lift out of the mire, when I am in a bad place…..I count my blessing!!! Blessing counting allows me to think about positive things, giving me less time to focus on the negative things that might be happening!!

Blessing number one:  That my entire family is so supportive of my fitness journey. It is not just their support that I am blessed with, but their understanding, that for me…it is not about being skinny. My journey is about being comfortable with who I am (in my skin) and becoming healthy and fit. If that means that I lose pounds in the process, then so be it!! But it is not the sole reason for my journey!

Blessing number two: That my brother cared enough about me to encourage me to start running. And that he continues to check up on me and to give me great tips on how to improve my eating habits and workouts. P.s….. I love to go eat with him because he makes good choices, which pushes me to do the same!! Thanks Brudder!! AND that my sis-in-law has been able to run / train with me...whether she knows it or not, she encourages me to train harder!! Thanks Shell-Shell...you will be back at it before you know it!!!

Blessing number three: That a person from my past encouraged me to “talk” about my journey in a blog ( thanks Robert!!). It not only gives me an avenue to journal my journey, but allows me to share what I have learned with others. And I hope encourages others to start a journey toward leading a healthy and fit life.

Blessing number four: That I have friends that have supported me, encouraged me, and been my cheerleaders during this journey. Some check on me by FB, some by phone and some by running and / or working out with me. I don’t know that any of them realize what this means to me, but I hope they do!!

Blessing number five:  That I have people who I now know are reading about my journey, are encouraged to get fit and are starting their own journey. Some even are working out with me to start off their journey and that is SO exciting for me!! I said (I think in my first blog) that I wanted to “pay it forward” and I meant it. It is a honor that someone actually wants to work out with me…..go figure!!!

Blessing number six: That God allowed us to move back “home” to be closer to my supportive friends and family. Being around family and friends that love and support you is amazing….don’t ever take it for granted! I feel that I am closer to my family than I have been in many years and I love it!! We have truly re-bonded over fitness!!

Thanking God for the blessings He has allowed in my life!!

I challenge everyone that reads this to take time this week to step back and count your blessings… it really does put a different spin on things!!